Could my child have an attachment issue?

Secure attachment is the building block for all other forms of development. For more on secure and insecure attachment, see Adoption and Attachment Therapy Partners website here.

The following checklist was provided by Adoption and Attachment Therapy Partners.

This checklist is a screening device and is only one component of a professional diagnostic assessment. It should not be used as a stand-alone measurement. If you suspect that your child could have attachment issues, it is important to seek professional help.

Symptom Checklist for Children Under Age 5

  • Cries; miserable all the time, chronically fussy

  • Resists comforting or nurturance

  • Resists or dislikes being held

  • Poor eye contact or avoids eye contact

  • Flat, lifeless affect (too quiet)

  • Likes playpen or crib more than being held

  • Rarely cries (overly good baby)

  • Angry or rageful when cries

  • Exceedingly demanding

  • Looks sad or empty-eyed

  • Delayed milestones (creeping, crawling, etc.)

  • Stiffens or becomes rigid when held

  • Likes to be in control

  • Does not hold on when held (no reciprocal holding)

  • When held chest to chest, faces away

  • Doesn't like head touched (combed, washed)

  • Generally unresponsive to parent

  • Cries or rages when held beyond his wishes

  • Overly independent play or makes no demands

  • Reaches for others to hold him rather than parent

  • Little or reduced verbal responsiveness

  • Does not return smiles

  • Shows very little imitative behavior

  • Prefers Dad to Mom

  • Gets in and out of parents lap frequently

  • Physically restless when sleeping

  • Does not react to pain (high pain tolerance)

  • Overly affectionate to strangers

  • Feeding problems Speech development delayed

 

Symptom Checklist for Children Over Age 5

  • Superficially engaging and "charming"

  • Lack of eye contact on parental terms

  • Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers

  • Not affectionate on parents' terms (not cuddly)

  • Destructive to self, others, and material things

  • Accident prone

  • Stealing Lying about the obvious (crazy lying)

  • No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive)

  • Learning lags

  • Lack of cause and effect thinking (repeats the same behaviors over and over; does not learn from mistakes)

  • Lack of conscience

  • Abnormal eating patterns

  • Poor peer relationships

  • Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter

  • Inappropriately demanding and clingy

  • Abnormal speech patterns

In some instances,

  • Cruel to animals

  • Preoccupation with fire

This list was adapted from Walter Buenning, Ph.D.; Toddler adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best; and What You Should Know before You Adopt a Child by the Institute for Attachment and Child Development.